How to Interview Your Babysitter's References

Checking references is one of the most useful steps in hiring a babysitter.

An interview tells you how a candidate presents themselves.

A reference check can help verify how the sitter actually performed over time.

References may offer information about:

• Punctuality
• Reliability
• Experience with specific ages
• Communication
• Discipline
• Emergency judgment
• Phone use
• Transportation
• Trustworthiness
• Response to feedback
• Why the job ended
• Whether the family would rehire

A positive recommendation is helpful, but the goal is not merely to hear praise.

The goal is to gather specific, consistent information that helps you decide whether the sitter is a good fit for your family.

Ask Permission Before Contacting References

Tell the candidate:

• Which references you plan to contact
• Whether you prefer phone or email
• When you expect to call
• Whether you need additional references

The candidate should have already told each person that a parent may contact them.

Do not surprise:

• A current employer
• A family who has not agreed
• A private client
• Someone whose relationship with the candidate is unclear

Ask the sitter to provide:

• Full name
• Phone number
• Email address
• Relationship
• Dates of work
• Ages of children cared for

This gives you facts to verify.

Request More Than One Type of Reference

A useful reference list may include:

• Former babysitting family
• Current family with permission
• Nanny employer
• Child care supervisor
• Camp supervisor
• Teacher
• Coach
• Volunteer coordinator
• Other adult who observed the sitter around children

At least one reference should have directly observed the applicant providing child care.

A family friend can describe character, but may not know whether the sitter:

• Arrived on time
• Followed bedtime instructions
• Handled conflict
• Responded to an injury
• Stayed attentive
• Managed several children

Verify the Reference’s Identity

At the beginning of the call, confirm:

• Full name
• Relationship to the sitter
• How long they have known the sitter
• Whether they hired or supervised the sitter
• Ages and number of children involved
• Approximate dates

You might say:

Thank you for speaking with me. Before we begin, could you tell me how you know Jordan and when Jordan cared for your children?

Compare the answer with the candidate’s application.

Small differences may come from memory.

Significant inconsistencies deserve follow-up.

Explain the Job You Are Filling

Briefly describe:

• Number of children
• Ages
• Hours
• Infant care
• Bedtime
• Medical needs
• Pets
• Transportation
• Pool access
• Overnight care
• Expected duties

This helps the reference evaluate whether their experience is relevant.

A sitter who was excellent with one 10-year-old for short afternoons may still need more preparation for:

• A newborn
• Three young siblings
• Overnight care
• Severe allergies
• Transportation

Use Open-Ended Questions

Questions that invite examples are more useful than:

Was the sitter good?

Try:

Tell me what a typical shift looked like.

What did the sitter do especially well?

What kind of direction did the sitter need?

Open-ended questions make it harder to answer with empty praise and easier to learn how the sitter worked.

Question 1: What Was the Working Relationship?

Ask:

• In what role did the sitter work for you?
• How often?
• For how long?
• Were the hours regular or occasional?
• What ages were the children?
• Was the sitter ever responsible for multiple children?
• Were you usually nearby or away from home?

This establishes the reference’s ability to evaluate the candidate.

A neighbor who saw the sitter occasionally may not know how they handled a full evening alone.

Question 2: What Duties Did the Sitter Perform?

Ask whether the sitter handled:

• Meals
• Bottles
• Diapers
• Toileting
• Bedtime
• Homework
• Bathing
• Transportation
• Medication
• Outdoor play
• Pets
• Light cleanup
• Overnight care

Then ask:

Which of those duties could the sitter perform independently?

This helps distinguish real experience from simply being present while a parent handled most responsibilities.

Question 3: How Reliable Was the Sitter?

Ask:

• Did the sitter arrive on time?
• How often did they cancel?
• How much notice did they provide?
• Did they stay until the agreed return time?
• Were there attendance problems?
• Did they communicate delays promptly?

Then use an open prompt:

Can you describe a time when plans changed unexpectedly and how the sitter handled it?

A sitter may occasionally become ill or face an emergency.

Look for a pattern of honest, timely communication rather than perfect attendance.

Question 4: How Did the Sitter Communicate?

Ask:

• Did they respond to scheduling messages?
• Did they ask useful questions?
• Did they report injuries?
• Did they update you appropriately?
• Did they communicate behavioral concerns?
• Did they admit mistakes?
• Were they respectful of privacy?

A good sitter should know when to:

• Handle a routine issue independently
• Contact the parent
• Call a backup adult
• Call emergency services

Question 5: How Did the Children Respond?

Ask:

• Did the children look forward to the sitter?
• Did they appear comfortable?
• Did they resist being left?
• Did their feelings change over time?
• Did the sitter respect the child’s boundaries?
• Did the sitter force affection?
• Did the sitter build individual relationships?

Children may complain about limits or bedtime.

Look for broader patterns involving:

• Safety
• Comfort
• Respect
• Trust
• Engagement

Do not ask the reference to repeat sensitive statements made by a child unless relevant to safety and appropriate to discuss.

Question 6: How Did the Sitter Handle Discipline?

Ask:

How did the sitter respond when a child refused directions, had a tantrum, or argued with a sibling?

Listen for methods such as:

• Redirection
• Calm limits
• Choices
• Age-appropriate consequences
• Conflict coaching
• Asking the parent for guidance

Be cautious about:

• Hitting
• Shaming
• Threats
• Yelling
• Food punishment
• Locking a child alone
• Humiliation
• Unapproved restraint
• Harsh physical control

The sitter’s approach should match your family’s expectations.

Question 7: Was the Sitter Attentive?

Ask:

• Did the sitter use a personal phone frequently?
• Were the children left unattended?
• Did the sitter invite visitors?
• Did the sitter sleep while children were awake?
• Did they notice hazards?
• Did they follow pool or pet rules?
• Did they supervise meals closely?

Use neutral wording:

How would you describe the sitter’s attention and supervision during a typical shift?

A reference may volunteer useful details when the question does not sound accusatory.

Question 8: How Did the Sitter Respond to Emergencies?

Ask about:

• Injuries
• Illness
• Choking
• Falls
• Fire alarms
• Allergic reactions
• Medication
• Lost child
• Transportation problems
• Power outages

Then ask:

• What happened?
• What did the sitter do first?
• When did they contact you?
• Did they document or explain the incident?
• Would you trust them to handle another emergency?

An accident does not automatically indicate poor care.

Focus on:

• Prevention
• Judgment
• Speed
• Honesty
• Communication
• Follow-up

Question 9: Were There Any Safety Concerns?

Ask directly:

Did you ever have a concern about safety, supervision, driving, substances, visitors, discipline, or judgment?

Then pause.

Do not rush to fill the silence.

A reference may need time to decide how to describe a concern.

Follow up with:

• Was the issue discussed?
• How did the sitter respond?
• Did it happen again?
• Did it affect your decision to continue care?

Question 10: How Did the Sitter Handle Feedback?

Ask:

• Did the sitter become defensive?
• Did they ask clarifying questions?
• Did they improve?
• Did they remember instructions?
• Did the same issue repeat?

No sitter is perfect.

A sitter who accepts reasonable feedback may be a stronger long-term candidate than one who has never been challenged.

Question 11: Did the Sitter Respect Boundaries?

Ask about:

• Photos
• Social media
• Visitors
• Home access
• Food
• Personal belongings
• Confidentiality
• Family schedules
• Cameras
• Discipline
• Transportation

A babysitter may hear private family information.

The reference should be able to describe the sitter as discreet and respectful.

Question 12: How Did the Sitter Handle Household Duties?

Clarify whether the sitter was expected to:

• Wash child-related dishes
• Put away toys
• Prepare meals
• Handle laundry
• Care for pets
• Complete general cleaning

Then ask:

Did the sitter complete the agreed duties without neglecting the children?

This helps prevent unfair conclusions.

A reference should not criticize a sitter for failing to complete work that was never part of the agreement.

Question 13: Was the Sitter Trustworthy?

Ask whether there were concerns involving:

• Money
• Property
• Keys
• Alarm codes
• Medication
• Food
• Unauthorized purchases
• Dishonesty
• Falsified hours

Use direct but neutral wording.

Do not ask the reference to speculate about crimes or motives.

Focus on actual observations.

Question 14: How Was the Sitter With Infants?

When hiring for infant care, ask specifically about:

• Safe sleep
• Bottle feeding
• Breast milk
• Formula
• Diapering
• Soothing
• Choking response
• Crying
• Development
• Supervision

Ask:

Did you ever need to correct the sitter about sleep positioning, crib safety, feeding, or leaving the baby in equipment?

General experience with older children does not verify infant-care competence.

Question 15: How Did the Sitter Handle Medical Needs?

When relevant, ask whether the sitter managed:

• Allergies
• Epinephrine
• Inhalers
• Seizure plans
• Diabetes
• Medication
• Feeding needs
• Mobility support
• Sensory needs

Confirm what the sitter actually did, rather than assuming a household with medical needs allowed them to handle every task.

Question 16: Was the Sitter a Safe Driver?

When transportation is part of the role, ask:

• Did the sitter drive the children?
• Were car seats used correctly?
• Was the sitter punctual but not rushed?
• Were there tickets or accidents?
• Did the sitter use a phone while driving?
• Did they follow approved routes?
• Did they transport anyone not authorized?

A positive child care reference does not automatically establish safe driving.

Parents should separately verify:

• License
• Insurance
• Motor vehicle record when appropriate
• Vehicle condition
• Car-seat knowledge

Question 17: Why Did the Arrangement End?

Ask:

Why did the sitter stop working for your family?

Possible neutral reasons include:

• Children outgrew care
• Family moved
• Sitter moved
• School schedule changed
• Parent job changed
• Sitter accepted full-time work
• Rate or schedule no longer fit

Be attentive to:

• Vague explanations
• Contradictions
• Sudden ending
• Safety issue
• Repeated unreliability
• Boundary problems

Do not assume every short job ended badly.

Question 18: What Could the Sitter Improve?

Try:

Every caregiver has strengths and areas for growth. What would you recommend the sitter continue working on?

Possible answers may involve:

• Punctuality
• Initiative
• Cooking
• Cleanup
• Confidence
• Communication
• Managing siblings
• Planning activities

A reference who says “nothing at all” may be sincere, but ask for an example of a challenge to obtain more detail.

Question 19: What Type of Family Is the Best Fit?

Ask:

• Which ages?
• How many children?
• Regular or occasional care?
• Structured or flexible household?
• Daytime or evening?
• Infant care?
• Transportation?
• Medical needs?

This may reveal that the candidate is excellent in one setting but not another.

Question 20: Would You Rehire the Sitter?

Ask directly:

Would you hire this sitter again?

Then follow with:

For the same type of job?

Is there anything you would want clarified before rehiring?

A confident rehire answer is meaningful.

Hesitation is not proof of a problem, but deserves exploration.

Question 21: Is There Anything Else I Should Know?

End with:

Is there anything else you think a parent should know before hiring this sitter?

This gives the reference space to mention something your structured questions did not cover.

Take Accurate Notes

For each reference, record:

• Name
• Date
• Contact method
• Relationship
• Dates of care
• Children’s ages
• Key strengths
• Concerns
• Rehire answer
• Information to verify

Keep notes factual.

Avoid writing unsupported conclusions such as:

Probably dishonest.

Write:

Reference paused when asked about hours and said there were two disputes about arrival time.

Compare References With the Candidate’s Account

Review consistency involving:

• Dates
• Duties
• Ages
• Hours
• Reasons for leaving
• Emergencies
• Transportation
• Certifications

When information differs, ask the candidate calmly:

One reference remembered the position ending in March, while your application says June. Can you help me understand the timeline?

Give the candidate an opportunity to explain.

Memory errors happen.

Repeated or major inconsistencies are more concerning.

Look for Patterns, Not One Imperfect Comment

One reference may dislike a sitter’s:

• Cooking
• Cleanup
• Rate
• Schedule
• Communication style

Another may view the same sitter positively.

Focus on repeated themes:

• Late arrival
• Frequent cancellations
• Unsafe driving
• Harsh discipline
• Phone distraction
• Excellent emergency judgment
• Strong child relationships
• Honest communication

Patterns across several sources are more useful than one isolated opinion.

Recognize Possible Red Flags

Potential warning signs include:

• Reference cannot confirm basic history
• Phone number belongs to someone with unclear identity
• All references are relatives
• No reference observed child care
• Candidate refuses any reference contact without explanation
• Dates and duties repeatedly conflict
• Reference will not answer whether they would rehire
• Safety incidents were hidden
• Repeated unexplained cancellations
• Harsh discipline
• Unauthorized visitors
• Substance use during care
• Unsafe driving
• Children left unattended
• Missing property or money concerns

A red flag does not always determine the decision alone.

Safety-related concerns deserve serious weight.

Be Alert to False or Staged References

A dishonest candidate may provide a friend pretending to be an employer.

Possible clues include:

• Reference cannot describe children’s ages
• Answers sound rehearsed
• Dates are unclear
• Reference provides only general praise
• Contact information conflicts with other records
• Reference becomes evasive when asked about duties

Ways to reduce risk include:

• Ask detailed role-specific questions
• Compare several references
• Verify employment through an organization when authorized
• Confirm public business contact information
• Use identity and background screening as appropriate

Do not conduct deceptive or unlawful investigations.

Respect Privacy and Legal Boundaries

Ask only questions relevant to:

• Qualifications
• Job performance
• Reliability
• Safety
• Duties
• Fit

Avoid probing into protected or highly personal topics unrelated to the role, such as:

• Religion
• Pregnancy
• Disability not relevant to job functions
• Race or ethnicity
• Sexual orientation
• Political beliefs
• Family planning

Employment and anti-discrimination rules can vary based on the household, work arrangement, and jurisdiction.

Use qualified legal guidance when hiring recurring household employees.

Background Checks Are Separate

A reference check does not replace:

• Identity verification
• Criminal background screening
• Sex offender registry review
• Driving record
• Credential verification

When using a third-party consumer reporting company for an employment background check, federal law may require written permission and specific notices.

The FTC explains that employers using background-reporting companies have obligations under the Fair Credit Reporting Act.

State and local rules may add requirements.

References Do Not Replace a Trial Period

Even excellent references cannot predict every family match.

Arrange a paid trial to observe:

• Punctuality
• Child interaction
• Supervision
• Phone use
• Safety awareness
• Following instructions
• Communication
• Comfort with routines

A trial should be combined with—not substituted for—screening.

What to Do When a Reference Raises a Concern

When the concern is minor:

1. Gather details.
2. Ask whether it repeated.
3. Ask how the sitter responded.
4. Compare other references.
5. Discuss it with the candidate.

When the concern involves immediate safety:

• Do not leave the sitter alone with children while investigating
• Consider ending the process
• Preserve factual notes
• Follow legal or reporting duties when applicable

Do not confront a candidate aggressively based on vague gossip.

A Short Reference-Call Script

You can use this opening:

Hi, my name is [Name]. [Candidate] gave me your contact information as a child care reference. I’m considering hiring them to care for my [number] children, ages [ages]. Is now a good time for a brief conversation?

Then ask:

1. How do you know the sitter?
2. When and how often did they care for your children?
3. What duties did they perform?
4. How reliable were they?
5. How did they handle discipline?
6. How did they communicate?
7. Were there injuries or emergencies?
8. Were there any safety or judgment concerns?
9. What could they improve?
10. Would you rehire them?

Close with:

Thank you. Is there anything else you believe I should know before making a decision?

A Simple Reference Rating Framework

After the call, rate each area based on evidence:

Verified

• Dates
• Role
• Ages
• Duties

Strong

• Reliability
• Communication
• Child interaction
• Judgment
• Safety
• Rehire willingness

Needs clarification

• Inconsistent date
• Vague duties
• Minor concern
• Unclear reason for leaving

Serious concern

• Safety violation
• Dishonesty
• Harsh discipline
• Substance use
• Concealed injury
• Unauthorized visitor
• Unsafe driving
• Abandonment of supervision

Do not reduce the entire decision to a numerical score.

Use the framework to organize facts.

Keep Information Confidential

Reference notes may contain private information about:

• Candidate
• Former family
• Children
• Medical incidents
• Employment

Store notes securely.

Do not:

• Post them online
• Share them with unrelated parents
• Forward them casually
• Use them for gossip

Use the information only for the hiring decision and lawful employment records.

Household Employment Considerations

A babysitter working in the family’s home may be a household employee when the family controls what work is performed and how it is done.

Federal and state obligations can depend on:

• Work relationship
• Amount paid
• Age
• Family relationship
• Hours
• Tax year

Recurring employers should review:

• IRS Publication 926
• Schedule H
• Wage and overtime rules
• State payroll obligations
• Workers’ compensation
• Required records

Reference quality does not change employment classification.

Frequently Asked Questions

Related Resources

• What Certifications Should Parents Look for in a Babysitter?
• How to Find and Keep a Great Babysitter

Sources

• Federal Trade Commission: Employer Background Checks and Your Rights
• Federal Trade Commission: Using Consumer Reports—What Employers Need to Know
• IRS: Hiring Household Employees
• IRS Publication 926: Household Employer’s Tax Guide
• IRS Topic 756: Employment Taxes for Household Employees
• U.S. Department of Labor: Domestic Workers
• U.S. Department of Labor: Fact Sheet 79—Private Homes and Domestic Service Employment
• HealthyChildren.org: Finding a Sitter—Tips for Parents
• HealthyChildren.org: Babysitting Reminders

ChildCareCenter.us is an independent directory and educational resource. Reference checks, background screening, privacy, household employment, taxes, wages, discrimination, and recordkeeping requirements vary by household and jurisdiction and may change. This article is not legal, tax, employment, investigative, or professional screening advice. Use current official guidance and qualified professionals when needed.