Humirah Dost - Alexandria VA Family Day Home

*also operates under name Humirah Dost Family Child Care



On Fri, Aug 5, 2022 at 4:20 PM Jessica Griswold wrote:
Our son attended three daycares. Unfortunately, the first two had to shut down, one due to ownership issues and the other because of the pandemic. I continue to give references for the main teacher from our first daycare and would do the same if either of the teachers from the second decided to restart a daycare or any form of child care.

I will never recommend Tiny Toes. From the very beginning, we couldn’t get information about how our son was doing. Communication was very limited. Our first two daycares sent home reports each day so we knew things our son worked on and how his day went. Tiny Toes never sent home anything in writing. We asked questions at pick up and would get one word or very generic responses. Every single time I picked up my son, I would ask if they needed anything and be told they had everything my son needed, only to receive a passive-aggressive message in the next day or two saying to PLEASE bring in "x".

Asking our five-year-old son about his day led us to realize there is no organization or structure at Tiny Toes. It is pretty much a free-for-all. Over the course of the (slightly less than a) year he attended Tiny Toes, we discovered he watched tv there regularly. He would complain about not being allowed to go outside. Before our son attended Tiny Toes, he had one timeout. The other daycares and our family took a different approach to addressing any behavior issues. Tiny Toes does timeouts. Not a big deal; however, any time we try to address an issue with our son now, he gets really anxious and says he needs a time out. How often was he getting time outs and for how small of issues? We certainly weren't privy to that information. If my son does something wrong, I want to know so I can address it and work with him on what he should be doing.

Our son was repeatedly bitten the first couple of months of his attendance at Tiny Toes. We tried to be understanding. Our son was a biter when he was younger, too. One time he got a bite so deep it lasted weeks to heal. Where were the teachers?! There were never incident reports written or sent home. I found a head wound one time that had never been discussed with us.

Our son revealed he walked through the parts of the house which were not part of the daycare on multiple occasions. I'm unclear why. It's like Tiny Toes doesn't adhere to any safety rules or regulations.

There was no sign in/out process and no menu (which according to our son, the only source we had for information, the kids had pasta or pizza pretty much every day). Basic things that are standard and for safety at daycares in the area aren't done at Tiny Toes.

One day, a couple weeks after a text had been sent stating the daycare was back in COVID protocols, I asked Michele if Tiny Toes' COVID protocols were still active. There hadn't been a follow up text saying the protocols had eased and I realized I hadn't followed one of the steps that day (meeting below the stairs, though I was wearing my mask). I wanted to make sure I was following the rules. Despite being in charge of pickup that day, with Humirah nowhere around, Michele told me I had to ask Humirah, that she was the one who handled all of that. I don't know how anyone working at a daycare, let alone one of two people who operate it, doesn't know their own current policies and procedures.

Another day, my husband asked Humirah a question about supplies we brought in and she told him he needed to talk to Michele. If I don't know something I'm asked at work, I find out and follow up with the person asking. I can't imagine continually passing off the responsibility of finding out basic information to my client.

My husband dropped our son off after an appointment one morning and Humirah was leaving to take Michele's kids to school. This left Michele as the sole caregiver for all of the children in their care. One of my questions during our interview process was what do you do when one of you needs to be out or needs to leave. They said that didn't happen, but if it did, there would be backup care.

Michele's older children were frequently around the kids at the daycare. My son came home and told me about a "prank" one of her kids pulled on a child in their care. It was mean-spirited. I was shocked and had a lengthy conversation with my son about how treating someone else like that was not ok. Our son also told me Michele's son told him he would attack his sister however our son told him to. Not really something I want my five-year-old thinking is ok.

Over the course of about a year, my son brought home less than a dozen art projects. I can't remember any educational work that was sent home.

While we were out of town one time, I contacted Michele and Humirah because my son told us a Huggy Wuggy stuffed animal was brought in by another child. My son said he was frightened by it and had a nightmare. Humirah admitted the toy was brought in, but placed all responsibility on the kids, aged 5 and under. She insisted they were all fine with it. Kinda hard to always know in a group of kids if they are all fine with something. Humirah said she thought it was creepy too. Then why allow it? As the adult, you are in charge and responsible for these children while they are in your care. You are to use your best judgment, not rely on children to tell you what's right and wrong.

We weighed our options and debated pulling our son. Because of the pandemic, he had missed a year and a half of being able to be a kid and be around other kids. He was desperate for that interaction. We only needed to get through a few more months and finding another daycare on no notice was not easy. Had our situation been different, we would have pulled him. We continued to watch for any increased fear of safety.

After a couple more months, everything we experienced, and another passive-aggressive text message from Humirah, we decided we were close enough to the end. We pulled our son out a week early. When pushed why we were removing our son early, I gave a generic answer of it was what was best for our family. I just wanted to move on.

On our son's last day, we inadvertently found out that there was supposed to be a graduation the next week. Our son was one of only two children "graduating." Like so many other things, we hadn't been told anything about it. They then tried to place blame on us for cancelling the graduation since there would only be one child "graduating". If they were going to have it for two, what difference does it make if there's only one child? Have it. How can we be the scapegoat? We didn't know anything about it.

That same day, at pickup, our son was running around outside of the daycare and fell hard. It wasn't until we got him in the car that he told us he had a hard round piece of candy in his mouth. He could have easily choked on it. So many things happened that just left me questioning Humirah and Michele's judgment.

After going through my son's things that were returned on his last day, I realized we were short at least a few items. I contacted Michele and Humirah in the group text message that was started on our son's first day. Things got ugly quickly. Instead of addressing the things I asked about, Humirah said, "Your welcome." When I followed up a week later, Humirah didn't respond for four days until she sent my husband a message just to him. When I followed up and asked why she chose to message just my husband when I asked the questions and not just respond to the group text we used for a year, she said she was uncomfortable with me and she knew I would eventually get the message. She was uncomfortable with me? Humirah barely ever spoke to me. She certainly never addressed that before. Does Humirah just not speak to or relay information to parents she's uncomfortable with? What exactly made her uncomfortable?

I had, on multiple occasions, sent in laser-cut, personalized items for the kids. When I asked for a list of the kids names for the first holiday we were at Tiny Toes, Humirah added Michele's kids' names to the list. I was surprised, but thought, "Why not? Everyone loves a gift." I got each of Michele's kids a small bucket and filled it with goodies. At the end of the day, I told Michele and Humirah I hadn't made the personalized item for Michele's kids because I thought it was too young for them, but I offered to still make them one if they would like one. On another occasion, one of the kids at the daycare liked a shirt my son had on. I told him I would make him a picture of it. He replied he wanted a shirt with certain characters. By the next day daycare was in session, I had a custom shirt I gave him. Another time I sent in a lasered gift for the kids, they kept my leftover supplies. I offered the daycare craft supplies and never received a response.

Every time I picked up my son, I made sure he thanked whichever teacher was at pickup and had him wish them a good evening or tell them he'd see them tomorrow. I always paid a month at a time. I never wanted to be late on a payment and I thought it could help the daycare to have those funds in their account early. Humirah and Michele thanked us, on multiple occasions, for being so kind and easy to work with. I don't mention these things to pat myself on the back. I did them because I wanted to foster relationships and community within the daycare. So, again, what exactly made Humirah uncomfortable with me?

Humirah responded an additional time with a text riddled with personal attacks and insults. The insults were widespread and mostly contradicted each other. Among them, Humirah attempted to slam me for only picking up my son "4 times in the year," which is far from true, but also none of her business.

Humirah said my husband and I were late nearly every day at pickup. The pictures I regularly took of the clock while in the driveway at pickup (and of the cars in front of and behind me) tell a different story. Were we ever late over the course of a year? Yep. Wish we weren't, but it did happen. Our other daycares had a grace policy of a few minutes; Tiny Toes doesn't. One time Humirah texted that if a child is in their care a second past 5:00 PM, you are late. Their business; they get to set their policies. My husband and I are chronic over-apologizers. Inconveniencing someone else is never something we take lightly. I contacted Michele and Humirah about paying a late fee. Humirah said it wasn't necessary. Once, Humirah accidentally deposited my check for the wrong amount so she redeposited it, resulting in a small overcharge to me. I never deducted the extra money from any future checks. It wasn't much, but I wanted them to have the money. One time, Michele told me not to rush if I was stuck in traffic. She insisted they'd be ok. Of course, later I received a passive-aggressive text message from Humirah about being late.

One of my son's last days, he asked me in the car why I was late. I wasn't. I assume they were talking about me to him or around him.

In the last text from Humirah, she also tried to say my son never had many supplies. She also contradicted that claim in the same message. Further, the pictures I took of supplies I sent in on various occasions (for my own attempts to track what was sent in) contradict that as well.

Humirah gave out my phone number without my knowledge or authorization to a company for them to solicit a review of Tiny Toes. I was contacted numerous times. Knowing my review would not be a positive one, I always chose to ignore it so there wouldn't be any more conflict.

Seeing how Humirah so easily became so angry and aggressive toward me worries me even more for the children in her care. What happens when a child does something she doesn't like? How angry and aggressive does she get with them? I do not trust this daycare.

*Humirah Dost operates Tiny Toes Child Care